How to Write Poetry
(1) Write down everything you think of, as you think of it.
(2) Take a five minute break.
(3) Erase what you’ve written.
(4) Send what’s left to Poetry.
How to Write Poetry
(1) Think about nothing.
(2) Write down whatever you’re thinking about.
(3) Make sure the meter and line breaks are correct.
(4) Tri-fold and mail that bad boy with an SASE to The New Criterion.
How to Write Poetry
(1) Locate a golden quill.
(2) Find a honeyed scroll.
(3) Use the quill to write a poem upon the scroll.
(4) Roll, place in postal mailer tube, and send to The Atlantic Monthly.
.
Monday, April 21, 2008 at 10:25 am
Done and done.
Now how do I start a blog?
kj
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 at 11:43 pm
1) Ask a friend how to start a blog.
2) Include this question as your first entry.
3) Include his/her answer as your second entry.
4) Make an entry that describes the search terms used by strangers who come across your entries.
5) Repeat, but, this time, include links to photos of sheep.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 4:05 pm
How to be get published on Vincent’s blog.
1) Write this down: “My blog rocks: When it grabs the mic it’s like rock n’ roll. Got more soul than a sock…
2) Finish the second sentence of that quoted text with a phrase whose last word rhymes with the last word of the first sentence.
3) Separate these two sentences into a rhymed couplet.
4) Use the first line of the couplet as the first line of a villanelle about how my blog rocks.
5) Use the second line of the couplet as the–yes, that’s right–the third line of the villanelle.
6) Once completed, print the villanelle, drop it in a document envelope with a check for $15 (reading fee), a SASE, and a cover letter showing your name and address, a salutation and the line “Dear Vincent, please consider this rad reminder of how much your blog rocks for publication on your block-rocking blog.”
7) Mail this stamped document envelope to 1602 W. 44th St., Chattanooga, TN, 37409.
9) In the meantime, remember this: even if your poem doesn’t make it onto my blog, your $15 check entitles you to a one year subscription to this rockin publication.
10) vthoward.blogspot.com (go there)